Egotism. A Letter to J. T. Becher
If Fate should seal my Death to-morrow,(Though much I hope she will postpone it,)I've held a share Joy and Sorrow,Enough for Ten; and here I own it.
I've lived, as many others live,And yet, I think, with more enjoyment;For could I through my days again live,I'd pass them in the 'same' employment.
That 'is' to say, with 'some exception',For though I will not make confession,I've seen too much of man's deceptionEver again to trust profession.
Some sage 'Mammas' with gesture haughty,Pronounce me quite a youthful Sinner--But 'Daughters' say, "although he's naughty,You must not check a 'Young Beginner'!"
I've loved, and many damsels know it--But whom I don't intend to mention,As 'certain stanzas' also show it,'Some' say 'deserving Reprehension'.
Some ancient Dames, of virtue fiery,(Unless Report does much belie them,)Have lately made a sharp Enquiry,And much it 'grieves' me to 'deny' them.
Two whom I lov'd had 'eyes' of 'Blue',To which I hope you've no objection;The 'Rest' had eyes of 'darker Hue'--Each Nymph, of course, was 'all perfection'.
But here I'll close my 'chaste' Description,Nor say the deeds of animosity;For 'silence' is the best prescription,To 'physic' idle curiosity.
Of 'Friends' I've known a 'goodly Hundred'--For finding 'one' in each acquaintance,By 'some deceived', by others plunder'd,'Friendship', to me, was not 'Repentance'.
At 'School' I thought like other 'Children';Instead of 'Brains', a fine Ingredient,'Romance', my 'youthful Head bewildering',To 'Sense' had made me disobedient.
A victim, 'nearly' from affection,To certain 'very precious scheming',The still remaining recollectionHas 'cured' my 'boyish soul' of 'Dreaming'.
By Heaven! I rather would forswearThe Earth, and all the joys reserved me,Than dare again the 'specious Snare',From which 'my Fate' and 'Heaven preserved' me.
Still I possess some Friends who love me--In each a much esteemed and true one;The Wealth of Worlds shall never move meTo quit their Friendship, for a new one.
But Becher! you're a 'reverend pastor',Now take it in consideration,Whether for penance I should fast, orPray for my 'sins' in expiation.
I own myself the child of 'Folly',But not so wicked as they make me--I soon must die of melancholy,If 'Female' smiles should e'er forsake me.
'Philosophers' have 'never doubted',That 'Ladies' Lips' were made for 'kisses!'For 'Love!' I could not live without it,For such a 'cursed' place as 'This is'.
Say, Becher, I shall be forgiven!If you don't warrant my salvation,I must resign all 'Hopes' of 'Heaven'!For, 'Faith', I can't withstand Temptation.
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