Fears and Scruples
Here's my case. Of old I used to love him.This same unseen friend, before I knew:Dream there was none like him, none above him,--Wake to hope and trust my dream was true.
Loved I not his letters full of beauty?Not his actions famous far and wide?Absent, he would know I vowed him duty,Present, he would find me at his side.
Pleasant fancy! for I had but letters,Only knew of actions by hearsay:He himself was busied with my betters;What of that? My turn must come some day.
"Some day" proving--no day! Here's the puzzle.Passed and passed my turn is. Why complain?He's so busied! If I could but muzzlePeople's foolish mouths that give me pain!
"Letters?" (hear them!) "You a judge of writing?Ask the experts!--How they shake the headO'er these characters, your friend's inditing--Call them forgery from A to Z!
"Actions? Where's your certain proof" (they bother)"He, of all you find so great and good,He, he only, claims this, that, the otherAction--claimed by men, a multitude?"
I can simply wish I might refute you,Wish my friend would,--by a word, a wink,--Bid me stop that foolish mouth,--you brute you!He keeps absent,--why, I cannot think.
Never mind! Tho' foolishness may flout me.One thing's sure enough; 'tis neither frost,No, nor fire, shall freeze or burn from out meThanks for truth--tho' falsehood, gained--tho' lost.
All my days, I'll go the softlier, sadlier,For that dream's sake! How forget the thrillThro' and thro' me as I thought, "The gladlierLives my friend because I love him still!"
Ah, but there's a menace some one utters!"What and if your friend at home play tricks?Peep at hide-and-seek behind the shutters?Mean your eyes should pierce thro' solid bricks?
'What and if he, frowning, wake you, dreamy?Lay on you the blame that bricks--conceal?Say 'At least I saw who did not see me,Does see now, and presently shall feel'?"
"Why, that makes your friend a monster!" say you;"Had his house no window? At first nod,Would you not have hailed him?" Hush, I pray you!What if this friend happen to be--God?
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